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My Conversation With God

May 8, 2017

 

Dear God

Or

Should I just address you as I usually do in my prayers

You still are sovereign and above all

It’s better that I show my respect to you

Of course some may disagree due to my lack of effort in pleasing you…

 

I have fallen into darkness

My mind no longer works the same

The thoughts of life no longer have your light

The darkness has enveloped my thoughts into a cocoon of depression and anxiety

My conscious runs wild and loose with no proper discipline

My mind which controls the rest of me has become weak

Leaving me or the rest of me

Completely and entirely

Shamefully I’ll admit

Weak

 

And I know

That you see this happening

I know that you see the countless times that my arms stretches out to the heavens the way a small leaf does before it descends down to the ground where it’s death awaits it in glee

I have fallen

Into the darkness that I would speak against and advice against seemingly as if I were out of and against

But no

 

The anxiety begins to choke me, leaving me with no air supply, the life force you breath into me every morning seeming to became less and less by the seconds that I allow to go in waste of not talking to you like this, of not spending some

Father daughter time with you like this or not,

Crying out for joy to you

Like

This

I

Have fallen oh God, and you’re the only one that I can run to to help me out of this pit I have found myself in

You’re the only one oh God that can raise me up and place me down on top of my enemies to see their punishment in effect

You’re the only one oh God that can block off the darkness as you wrap me in your Holy light and let love grow deep within me like a river breaking free of this cocoon of darkness into a blooming flower in your well maintained garden

Oh

God

 

I know, that you hear me and for the countless times that I would not stand up and defend you against the foolish words of unbelievers to the countless times that I would not read your words to sustain my life to the countless times that I would

Turn my back to you and say “I got this” and belittled you

To the countless time that I

Would trust the world more than I could ever allow my mind to trust you

Your grace and mercy still follows me

And your love covers me

And I thank you for not giving up on me

For not allowing the devil to triumph over me in a temporary egotistic victorious cry

For not allowing the darkness to be my home

For

Calling me your own and always loving me

God

Marvelous God

I thank you

And

I love you

And I will now seal this letter of discussion between you and I to your son

Christ Jesus

 

Amen

And Amen

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